all i can do is try to savor the time now. and prep them to be the best versions of themselves for when they do leave this little apartment nest and wander out that door and come and go as life would have it. and i start to think, am i crazy?! as i find myself praying on occasion for the people i myself have never even met yet but who will be instrumental in my childrens’ lives in the future: friends, teachers, love interests (oh gosh, writing this publicly is making me think i am crazy!). but it’s like, “heavenly father, i’m trying here and prepping them to be good people. please have them find other good people.”
i remember hearing this quote once about how being a mother means you have decided forever to have pieces of your heart walking around outside of your body. and i so feel that. and it’s a given to know each of my five little ones will go through difficult things, their own hard moments, heart break, hurt… it’s selfish to say but sometimes i wish i could keep them ten weeks old forever. in my arms. safe. warm. loved. at the same time, loving them means allowing them to grow. and eventually, grow up.